010. ADD ME TO YOUR LIST/ Books that made me feel ok with still feeling lost in my 30's

Welcome to a new little segment on here where I provide the books you've been after but in niche form because that's how us millennials function right?

The 20’s were filled with frivolous decisions, late nights, house parties and no responsibilities – its insane that now being in my late thirties that the feelings of anxiety and not really having my sh*t together still ring true.

We’re taught to follow that dreaded checklist – you know the one, get a uni degree, get a job, buy a house, get married , have kids, be financially stable etc.. I still find myself just wanting to not have responsibilities and to cruise through everyday not having to think about the ticking time clock around my ovaries and having work constantly on my mind.

On the other hand, the 30s are filled with new life experiences, trying to navigate work and selfhood; staying in, now seems like the best resort over partying the night away with a massive hangover the next day. Hello blue Powerade. Here’s a full list of books I’ve read that I feel really encompass all the above - let me know if you’ve read these or if there’s more I need to add to the list whilst I dwell on the fact that I’m now in my late 30’s (a few years from 40 ha).

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Normal Women - Ainslie Hogarth

This quirky take on being a mother and a wife is anything but perfect and serves as a reminder that the white picket fence life that so many of our friends have, isn’t everything you could hope for and more. In fact, you may be embroiled in drama and a case involving a missing sex worker.

Why Be Happy When You Could Be Normal? - Jeanette Winterson

If you’ve read Winterson’s 1985 novel ‘Oranges Are Not The Only Fruit’, then this is the story behind it. It was the story of hurt and survival, a mother’s love and journey in and out of madness. You see, being in your 30’s, you tend to backtrack on the trauma a little bit to provide some sort of justification to the reasons why you are what you are. Oh and this is heartbreaking, so brace yourself.

Goodbye, Vitamin - Rachel Khong

She’s in her 30’s, totally disengaged from her fiance and the plan that one sets out to achieve aka have all your shit together is NOT together. She leaves town and heads back to her parents place where her father, once a prominent professor is losing his memory- she finds herself having to juggle family life, grief and the demise of her own life’s failures.

What My Mother And I Don’t Talk About/ Fifteen Writers Break the Silence - edited by Michele Filgate

The title alone got me. I don’t exactly have the closest of relationships with my parents so anything diving into the retrospect of parental relationships has me hooked. All of these stories dive into these writers personal relationships with their mothers - the good and the bad.

I Feel Bad About My Neck And Other Thoughts On Being a Woman - Nora Ephron

As she chronicles her life with that typical dry sense of humour, Ephron covers everything from aging to being caught between the arrival of a wrinkle and death. Honestly, a hilarious read that will make you seek comfort within the pages.

Sorrow and Bliss - Meg Mason

You know when you just know that something is wrong? You get the vibes and everyone tells you its nothing. Fast-forward and you know you don’t want to have children, your husband says its ok but you know he’s just trying to make you happy. Then, by the time you find out what’s wrong, it’s all too late.

A Manual for Cleaning Women - Lucia Berlin

A collection of stories from the homes of working mothers, hitchhikers, and those in the upper class - it’s a subtle expose into the lives of the cleaning women; everyday moments of grace that will make you marvel at existence.

No Judgement - Lauren Oyler

A collection of essays swirling with commentary on the economy, gossip, literature and issues of the modern-day world. Everything that surrounds us in the day to day is laid bare in this novel as Oyler dives deep into the layers of psychology behind it all with such ease. If you’re after something that’s going to make you think more and stare at a blue sky then this is for you.

Dept. of Speculation - Jenny Offill

Never have I read a book that uncovers the depths of marriage- the mystery, the truths, the frustrations, the anger, the uncertainties of it all. Here I go again choosing novels that aren’t a picture perfect representation of what marriage should be but somehow I feel the honesty and rawness is pertinent for a society that wants us to have otherwise.

The Lonely City / Adventures in the Art of Being Alone - Olivia Laing

Living by myself for 2 years was one of the best decisions I ever made and a decision that I still like to put forth to anyone in their 20s contemplating the same idea. This novel gives so much meaning to this idea in its investigation into being alone and how it truly is ok to be by yourself.

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Until the next list,

xoxo

R